January 27, 2016

Customer: Hi, How much is your paint?

Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends.

Customer: On what?

Clerk: Actually, a lot of things.

Customer: How about giving me an average price?

Clerk: Wow, that’s too hard a question.  The lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have 150 different prices up to $200 a gallon.

Customer: What’s the difference in the paint?

Clerk: Oh, there’s no difference; it’s all the same paint.

Customer: Well, then, I’d like some of that $9 paint.

Clerk: Well, first I need to ask you a few questions.  When do you intend to use it?

Customer: I want to paint tomorrow on my day off.

Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is $200 per gallon.

Customer: What?  When would I have to paint in order to get $9 paint?

Clerk: That would be in three weeks, but you will also have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.

Customer: You’ve got to be kidding!

Clerk: Sir, we don’t kid around here.  Of course, I’ll have to check to see if we have any of that paint available before I can sell it to you.

Customer: What do you mean check to see if you can sell it to me? You have shelves full of that stuff; I can see it right there.

Clerk: Just because you can see it doesn’t mean that we have it.  It may be the same paint, but we sell only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend.  Oh, and by the way, the price just went up to $12.

Customer: You mean the price went up while we were talking?

Clerk: Yes sir.  You see, we change prices and rules thousands of times a day, and since you haven’t actually walked out of the store with your paint yet, we just decided to change.  Unless you want the same thing to happen again, I would suggest you get on with your purchase.  How many gallons do you want?

Customer: I don’t know exactly.  Maybe five gallons.  Maybe I should buy six gallons just to make sure I have enough.

Clerk: Oh, no sir, you can’t do that.  If you buy the paint and then don’t use it, you will be liable for penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.

Customer: What?

Clerk: That’s right.  We can sell you enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall, and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the other bedroom, you will be in violation of our tariffs.

Customer: But what does it matter to you whether I use all of the paint?  I already paid you for it!

Clerk: Sir, there’s no point in getting upset; that’s just the way it is.  We make plans based upon the idea that you will use all of the paint, and when you don’t, it just causes us all sorts of problems.

airline-ticket

Customer: This is crazy! I suppose something terrible will happen if I don’t keep painting until Sunday night?

Clerk: Yes sir, it will.

Customer: Well, that does it!  I am going somewhere else to buy paint!

Clerk: That won’t do you any good, sir.  We all have the same rules. You might as well just buy it here, while the price is now $13.50. Thanks for flying–I mean painting–with our airline.

(Source Unknown But Whoever You Are, Thank You!)

About the author 

Nancy Byerly Jones

Nancy Byerly Jones and her husband reside on their mountainside ranch (“Little Hee Haw Farm”) with an energetic “family” of horses, donkeys (large and miniature), dogs and cats. Their favorite pastime is sharing the joy and fun of their animals and ranch life with their family, friends and clients.

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