December 14, 2020

A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER READS: 

  We will heel you

    We will save your sole

      We will even dye for you.


A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:

    “Blind man driving.”

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

    "Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

In a Podiatrist's office:

  "Time wounds all heels.”


On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for,

  You've come to the right place.”

On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”


At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:

"Invite us to your next blowout.”

On an Electrician's truck:

  "Let us remove your shorts.”

In a Non-smoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and

  will take appropriate action.”


On a Maternity Room door:

      "Push. Push. Push.”

At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”


In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

At the Electric Company:

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. 

        However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”

In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”


In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

  "Drive carefully. We'll wait.”


At a Propane Filling Station:

  "Thank Heaven for little grills.”

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:

"Best place in town to take a leak.”


And the best one for last…:

Side view of a pump truck hauling sewage removed from a residential septic tank.

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:“Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises”

About the author 

Nancy Byerly Jones

Nancy Byerly Jones and her husband reside on their mountainside ranch (“Little Hee Haw Farm”) with an energetic “family” of horses, donkeys (large and miniature), dogs and cats. Their favorite pastime is sharing the joy and fun of their animals and ranch life with their family, friends and clients.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}